Village Life

Nirmala (37) lives with her four children, Sita (13), Rita (11), Kamal (7) and Nirmal (3), in a tiny home an hour’s walk from the hospital. The family owns a small plot of land on which they grow maize and millet. This field produces only enough to feed the family one month each year.

Nirmala is dependent on working for daily wages to feed her children and send them to school. Often she carries stones or digs ditches for one dollar a day. Rice is a luxury for this family. Usually, they have a simple cup of tea for breakfast and porridge made from millet for their other meals.

“Rice is my favourite food, but I like boiled netles too,” says Rita.

Nirmala started working at age six, cutting grass and fetching water. By the time she was eight she was working full time.

“My children should get an education so that they do not end up with the same tiring lifestyle that I have,” says Nirmala.
She had not seen a school until she moved in with her husband’s family. Now her daughter has taught her to write her own name.

A suitor at the door

One day a nervous thirteen-year-old boy and his family came to visit. He sat in the maize field while the families talked.

“We would like to ask for Gita’s hand in marriage,” said the boy’s representative.

Nirmala would not allow her eldest daughter to leave. Who would then help her with the housework? As the oldest child, Gita has a great deal of responsibility. She looks after her younger siblings, and also cleans the house, washes clothes and prepares food.

After a girl in Nepal marries, she moves to live with her in-laws. Therefore, it is often a boy’s mother who takes the initiative to find a wife for her son. Bringing a new woman into the household reduces the mother-in-law’s workload.

Gita was not at home that day, and had not met her potential husband. When her mother told her a boy had come to propose, she cried. “I don’t want to get married! I will not be ready before I’m twenty, at least,” she said.

Nirmala had married when she was thirteen. Her husband and his family had walked for a day to ask for her hand. She had not seen him until her wedding day.
“I didn’t know what marriage was, and I said yes,” says Nirmala.

Easier to be a boy

Nepal is one of the few countries that has a lower life expectancy for women than men. Women have a long and tiring day, working both in and around the house, as well as in the fields. The men work specifically at ploughing and harvesting times.

“It’s obviously easier to be a boy. They don’t have to work in the house at all,” says Rita.

It is also less common to spend money on girls than boys. Girls are a bad investment because they leave the home when they get married.

The night of destiny

Nirmala’s husband worked hard every day, carrying stones and dirt. One day he had carried an extra heavy load and was very tired. In addition to his daily wage of two dollars, he had received “raksi,” a local spirit made from millet.

“A few hours later, he started vomiting roundworms as thick as a thumb,” tells Nirmala.

It was during the civil war and she did not dare go to the hospital with her husband in the middle of the night. Her husband died a few hours later. Nirmala was left alone with four children, the youngest only nine months old.

“I just didn’t know how I was going to feed my children and send them to school on my own. I’m very proud of my children and the fact that I have managed to bring them up alone,” says Nirmala.

For ten years the family has had an outstanding loan of $800 (U.S. currency). It is difficult enough to pay for food and schooling. There is never enough money to pay more than just the interest on the loan. The moneylenders often come and threaten to take their house and land if they do not pay.

In hospital

Rita has been admitted to Okhaldhunga Community Hospital several times, including once with a sprained arm and another time with a scalp infection. Even so, she is not afraid of ending up in hospital again.

“I would be happy to return. The hospital is a nice place with lots of pretty flowers. It was really exciting to see all the patients, but it wasn’t much fun having my hair cut off. I was very embarrassed,” she says.

When Rita was in class five she read a story about a hospital. It was then that she decided she wanted to be a nurse. Following her admission to hospital, she is even more sure of this. “If I become a nurse, I can give injections and others will fear me,” she says.

Life treatening

A year ago, Nirmala had to be carried to the hospital on a stretcher, due to a fever and breathing problems. She was given oxygen and was admitted for two weeks. During that period Rita stayed with her mother and helped care for her. She provided food, washed dishes and laundered Nirmala’s clothing. The doctors feared that Nirmala had a lung tumour. “I was terrified of dying and leaving my children behind,” says Nirmala.

Thankfully it turned out to be an infection that could be cured with antibiotics. It was difficult for the family to pay their hospital bills, but the Medical Assistance Fund at the hospital covered their expenses.

Nirmala’s first three children were born at home, but she went to hospital when she was pregnant with Nirmal. Her stomach was so large that she thought she was going to have twins.

The untouchables

Today, the caste system is still clearly seen in village life in Nepal, though it is significantly less obvious now in Kathmandu, the capital.

Nirmala Nepali and her family are so low in the system that they are among the casteless untouchables. Her family has never been inside a high caste house. Kamal has several young upper caste friends, but when he visits them he always has to sit in the courtyard. They would never let a casteless child into their sacred home.

Nirmala remembers that it was more difficult when she was a child. People shouted degrading things at her and called her a dog. “It has always been like that. The way we are treated makes me miserable, but I can’t force anyone to let me into their home,” she says.

The new Nepali government promises to put an end to caste discrimination in rural areas. Nirmala is not so sure they will succeed, but she is hopeful. It is important to hang on to hope in the midst of a difficult daily life.